My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such a violent reaction against it?... Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if i did that, then my argument against God collapsed too--for the argument depended on saying the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my fancies. Thus, in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist - in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless - I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality - namely my idea of justice - was full of sense. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never have known it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.
- C.S. Lewis

Why can't I find a girl like jennifer in wargames who would go to colorado to meet me just because I didn't sound good?

Yesterday was a pretty good day. My mom, dad, and sisters came down to visit.... it was a little rushed because they only could come down for the day... it was really nice to have them here. Actually, it was just nice to have anyone here. Other than the people that helped me move, no one has come to visit me. Yea, I know its a drive for most of my friends but it would be nice to have someone visit. I'm very content with my 3 birds. Yea, I have another one for those counting. I brought home a Sun Conure on Friday.... His name is Bacardi. While he can be aggressive towards people he doesnt know, he is really a sweetie. Actually, his aggressiveness is actually shyness. Lisa and Cracker are adjusting well to everything too. The cool part is with my new jobs coming up, I will be able to spend a lot more time with them.
I actually havent been feeling extremely well recently. I think a lot of it is primarily caused by the stress that I had been under. Loss of appetite and nausea can be cause for concern but both are also symptoms of stress -- as well as signs of depression too. I have been feeling a bit better emotionally but it may just be something that will take a week or two to work it's way back.... if I'm sick tho, that could be cause for any emotional feelings.
My parents bought me a gas grill yesterday for my birthday (as of Thursday, I am 27). I bought burgers and stuff yesterday to grill today and had hoped to have a friend or two over to grill out but its noon now and, well, I'm not being so hopeful. I guess if I dont have anyone over it will give me more time to do some work around the house. I'll try to look on the bright side.
I hope everyone has a great memorial day!

I so feel like I'm wandering around life like a chucken with my head cut off. I know God has a plan and things will come together but I'm so lost and second guessing myself - but then again that's often when God does something. I guess what's really getting me is I've moved 4 counties away and now I'm cutting ties to nova and worse is the friends I believed would still be a part of my life don't seem to be... And my newest friends I just can't figure out and I'm wondering what I'm going to be left with. I thrive on interaction with people and if I'm losing friends then, well.... Yea

This isn't being such a happy day for me. Everyone says I need to go out but yet none of those people actually want to do anything with me. I have to say that as of yesterday I am officially depressed. I'm hoping it is just because of the bullshit I'm dealing with at work (and the lack of sleep associated) and that it dissappears after my last day but for at least now I have the tears hiding behind my eyes that could sneak out at any moment.

*sigh*

Well, a lot happened today. Starting next week I am back in the data center. Recently fox mill pets has been working me like crazy and I really couldn't deal with it. I was hoping it wasn't just me but I've come to realize that practically everyone else has begun a job search as well.
So starting next week I will be doing contract work for MFC and working for Pull The Plug. I am excited for the way things are turning out. Add to the house and the new jobs, I've also made some really great friends recently and one especially has made an awesome impact on me.

To sum it up, I need to get through this week and get my house set up and then get back to enjoying life.

Anyone moving into their own home that they just bought should be nothing but happy. I, however, am not. Its not the house. I'm extremely happy about that. The last few weeks they have been scheduling me 5 days in a row and all shifts are open to close. Everyone at work has begun a job search. The stress on me is even more because I am the only one on salary. I have 2 days off which is great but in the other 5 days I don't even have a chance to breathe. This means I have no time for doing any setup at my house. Add to that that comcast called me way early saying they were at my house to install my internet and I wasn't there and since I work every waking hour, that means that I won't have internet for at least a week!

I somehow need some relief. The stress on me right now is killing me and I (as well as others close to me) are concerned about my health.

Twitter is working on their servers and has this image on the page right now.... Gotta love it!