This was certainly a great day. Work was pretty slow which was nice. As I was getting ready to leave work a girl from my church (Kimberly) IM'd me and I ended up picking her up and we went to wal-mart and then to the mall to get something to eat and we met Nate (another person from church). Then we all went to where she was staying because she was babysitting a bunch of kids tonight.... Nathan stayed until the soccer game was over and then Kimberly and I just sat and talked.... and I got to hold the 2 month old little boy ... and he fell asleep in my arms.... I cant wait till I'm a dad.... oops, rabbit trail :) anyway... it was really nice to be able to sit and just talk to someone.... it's kind of strange.... I mean, just like.... here I am... nothing but a poor country boy from PA, barely able to make it in a tiny one bedroom apt, driving my 93 Cavalier into this huge and nice housing developement.... its just that I guess at face value, I may not "fit in" .... but that didnt matter... I was welcomed by everyone tonight and it really made me feel alot better.... mainly about myself. As most of you know my self-esteem has been hurting recently.... this was definately a good boost. What did we talk about? A little of everything.... but it wasnt the content that mattered... it was just nice to sit and talk and especially when maybe I'm not the same "class" of person I'm still welcomed..... Maybe there still are some people that will accept you for who you are and not make you change?

Six -year-old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor.

He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.

Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad.
He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked. Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky.

And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him.

Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process!

That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend, or we can't stand our job, or our health goes sour.

Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him.

But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes" for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...

I was thinking. .. and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that need rekindling or three words needing to be said, sometimes, "I love you" can heal & bless! Remind every one of your friends that you love them. Even if you think they don't love back, you would be amazed at what those three little words, a smile, and a reminder like this can do.

Just in case I haven't told you lately... I LOVE YA!!!

Imagine this... Your walking down the street and someone's car broke down in the middle of the road. He begs and pleads with you to push his car while he steers it off the road. Now you are devoted to helping anyone you possibly can... So not only do you offer help, you even go out of your way to find more help. You start pushing and the person starts pushing on his brake pedal.... You eventually realize he is doing this on purpose. How does this make you feel? How do you respond? Do you keep pushing because your not one to give up? If you're me, you keep pushing no matter how unfair it is or how much pain it causes.... This is just a glimpse of how I feel....

Honestly, I dont know which of these hurts more:

Well, Tiff - whatever you may be doing today..... Happy Birthday

Luke 6

21 Blessed [are ye] that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed [are ye] that weep now: for ye shall laugh. 22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you [from their company], and shall reproach [you], and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. 23 Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward [is] great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.

Sleeping is not coming easy for me tonight..... Just so much on my mind..... I don't know what is going on anymore..... But ill keep pressing on.... I just hope I can fall asleep soon.... I gotta be up at 8:30am......

So I currently have the equivalent of a 2nd degree burn on my fingertip. I do not have a blister, my fingertip IS the blister. I guess what happened was Latrobe put the dressing on way to tight and shoved all the blood into a pool on the tip of my finger. This created the blister and killed the nerve endings in my fingertip. The one doctor said "we all could know another hospital put a hole in the wrong side of your head, but it's doctors.... They don't blame other doctors" .... So basically, we know the damage was caused by the dressing and not me cutting myself. Problem that I have right now is the insurance that carpathia has for me is terrible and I am now up to $600 in copays alone.... And who knows what else they can tack on..... *sigh* God will provide tho I guess. Right now its unsure of how much feeling ill gain back. They told me nerve endings do grow back generally but it takes a while for that to happen. We won't know anything for sure until it happens tho. Presby couldn't do anything either way. The one nurse said "whats done is done.... Let's just watch this and make sure it doesn't get worse"

I guess this shows that I truly do have the worst luck in the world. I say that partially joking but yet in the back of my head I wonder if any good is ever going to come my way.

Well I have a computer to fix.... Then get to bed and leave early in the AM for VA. Dad is taking me down because I never got a hold of the guy with the sammy parts so its still not ready for VA inspection...... So the sammy stays in PA :(

what relaxing vacation...... *sigh* will I ever get a break?