I'm a risk taker!
.... and I cant wait to hear the criticism when people read this.... but any of my friends that are REALLY my friends will support me.
I just had a very positive talk with Tiffany. She explained some things, and I explained some things. She needs time off..... but her intention is to come back to me. I can understand that she is confused right now..... her parents, jim, me.... anyway.... she wants her time off.... and I am going to give it to her.... she said it probably wont take more than a month so I am giving her a month.... a month of staying true to her.... waiting for her. Why am I doing this? Because I'm in love and Tiffany is more than worth it to me. It really looks like Tiff and I will be back together.
.... and to those people who emailed her negative comments when she was trying to make things as right as possible..... well, lets just say I'm upset with you.... I dont consider that an action in our friendship but an action just to spite someone. I'm dissapointed.... and your lucky that Tiff is refusing to tell me who you are.
Please keep me in your prayers! This is a risk im taking.... but I think it will turn out for the good. Thanks everyone for your support!
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Friday, January 02, 2004
Well in about an hour I start back to work. I work 5-close tonight. Hopefully everything goes well. Its kinda crazy in town today so thats a sign that we might be busy.
I've lost so much in the last few weeks. I lost it all when Tiff left me. It's not gonna be the same not being able to check my email after dinner for a boost from an email from Tiff.... its not gonna be the same knowing that when I come home I wont have an email either. I've lost the love of my life.... I've lost the only person who made me feel good.... the one who kept reminding me that I really was someone special.... now I dont feel like much of anything. Now, I know that there are other people.... and of course the saying "there are other fish in the sea" .... but thats not my point. My point is I lost alot. I love Tiffany alot... and quite frankly, (directed to SOME of my friends) you're going to have to get used to the fact that I do love her..... whether she comes back to me or not. I lost alot.... and this is painful.... but God will work it out. It's really hard for me to accept that this all might be over. I dont want to lose her.... I love her too much. I'm not going to back down though..... I'm going to hold my gound because ... well, Tiff's the one that has to make things right..... I just really hope that she does. Boy it would be nice to get an email from her tonight. Out of habit I'll probably still check my palm after dinner.... To those who ask me why bother... I answer because she is worth it.
I've lost so much in the last few weeks. I lost it all when Tiff left me. It's not gonna be the same not being able to check my email after dinner for a boost from an email from Tiff.... its not gonna be the same knowing that when I come home I wont have an email either. I've lost the love of my life.... I've lost the only person who made me feel good.... the one who kept reminding me that I really was someone special.... now I dont feel like much of anything. Now, I know that there are other people.... and of course the saying "there are other fish in the sea" .... but thats not my point. My point is I lost alot. I love Tiffany alot... and quite frankly, (directed to SOME of my friends) you're going to have to get used to the fact that I do love her..... whether she comes back to me or not. I lost alot.... and this is painful.... but God will work it out. It's really hard for me to accept that this all might be over. I dont want to lose her.... I love her too much. I'm not going to back down though..... I'm going to hold my gound because ... well, Tiff's the one that has to make things right..... I just really hope that she does. Boy it would be nice to get an email from her tonight. Out of habit I'll probably still check my palm after dinner.... To those who ask me why bother... I answer because she is worth it.
Here is an email update I sent out. If you were not on that list you can read it here!
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I just wanted to let everyone know that I went to see a therapist today at the Comprehensive Counseling Center I was in last week. They set me up in the outpaitient program so I will be seeing both counselors and doctors through that program to make sure the medicines I am on are working and also to help me through any other problems I'm working on. Unfortunately this means that I will be dealing with Dr. Gaul less as the CCC program will be taking over the care of my depression medicines. This is probably a good thing but there is just something about being able to go to a doctor, actually give input into what you think may help and then pray together about the decission. I'm going to miss that. But thankfully Dr. Gaul is still my PCP so any other medicines or problems as well as check ups go to him.
I want to thank all of you for your support. Most of you know I have gone through a very rough few weeks and im still not out of the water. I learned very quickly when you go to only one person with your problems you open yourself up for disaster when you lose that person. That is what happened. Each one of you have been extremely supportive. Some have annoyed me at times but I know that your intentions are good. Just a few notes when dealing with me though. First of all, do not put Tiffany down. I still love her very much and what some of you view as a (my) mistake I still do not believe was. There is still hope. I've changed some things and I dont have my mind closed. In having an open mind, that means that my mind must be OPEN, and this also means open to the fact that maybe Tiffany really does still love me. Only time will tell in this situation. Secondly, remember that I now have counselors and doctors working with me to help me with what I need to and shouldnt be doing. Do not interefere with this. They are trained to be able to read my feelings and give input based on that. Thirdly, remember that I have a relationship with Christ. Although at times I need reminded of that, He is still there. I focus on Christ as much as I possibly can and in every one of these crazy situations (especially with Tiffany), I am constantly praying for guidance for everyone involved. Lastly: LISTEN The best way you can help me out is listen when I complain about something. Be very careful about giving me advice. My views on this situation, and on Tiffany herself, differ from most of yours. I want those views to be heard; not changed.
Again, thank you everyone for your support. It is taken when needed and even when I disagree it may be ignored but it helps anyway just knowing that you care enough to give it. Your prayers are the most appriciated.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him....
-Romans 8:28
God Bless everyone!
Bob
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I just wanted to let everyone know that I went to see a therapist today at the Comprehensive Counseling Center I was in last week. They set me up in the outpaitient program so I will be seeing both counselors and doctors through that program to make sure the medicines I am on are working and also to help me through any other problems I'm working on. Unfortunately this means that I will be dealing with Dr. Gaul less as the CCC program will be taking over the care of my depression medicines. This is probably a good thing but there is just something about being able to go to a doctor, actually give input into what you think may help and then pray together about the decission. I'm going to miss that. But thankfully Dr. Gaul is still my PCP so any other medicines or problems as well as check ups go to him.
I want to thank all of you for your support. Most of you know I have gone through a very rough few weeks and im still not out of the water. I learned very quickly when you go to only one person with your problems you open yourself up for disaster when you lose that person. That is what happened. Each one of you have been extremely supportive. Some have annoyed me at times but I know that your intentions are good. Just a few notes when dealing with me though. First of all, do not put Tiffany down. I still love her very much and what some of you view as a (my) mistake I still do not believe was. There is still hope. I've changed some things and I dont have my mind closed. In having an open mind, that means that my mind must be OPEN, and this also means open to the fact that maybe Tiffany really does still love me. Only time will tell in this situation. Secondly, remember that I now have counselors and doctors working with me to help me with what I need to and shouldnt be doing. Do not interefere with this. They are trained to be able to read my feelings and give input based on that. Thirdly, remember that I have a relationship with Christ. Although at times I need reminded of that, He is still there. I focus on Christ as much as I possibly can and in every one of these crazy situations (especially with Tiffany), I am constantly praying for guidance for everyone involved. Lastly: LISTEN The best way you can help me out is listen when I complain about something. Be very careful about giving me advice. My views on this situation, and on Tiffany herself, differ from most of yours. I want those views to be heard; not changed.
Again, thank you everyone for your support. It is taken when needed and even when I disagree it may be ignored but it helps anyway just knowing that you care enough to give it. Your prayers are the most appriciated.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him....
-Romans 8:28
God Bless everyone!
Bob
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Thursday, January 01, 2004
We were watching 10 Things I Hate About You up at my grandmothers just now.... I left a little before it was over and came down here. There is the part where the one kid says that the deal is over because the girl he wanted kinda gave up.... and the other guy looked at him and said something like deciding whether she was really worth it or not....
.... yea, you know where I'm going. She is.... but at the same time I have to protect myself.
I think I'm heading to bed early today.... its been pretty depressing for me.
.... yea, you know where I'm going. She is.... but at the same time I have to protect myself.
I think I'm heading to bed early today.... its been pretty depressing for me.
I'm going to go insane!
Mom is sleeping, Dad is watching football, Lori is at work.... Kari is who knows where...... Cant get a hold of Addy, Cant get a hold of Kelli..... Dunno if I should call Renee again..... I want to do something..... knowing me, I'll end up at the theater myself like normal because... well, no body likes me.
Mom is sleeping, Dad is watching football, Lori is at work.... Kari is who knows where...... Cant get a hold of Addy, Cant get a hold of Kelli..... Dunno if I should call Renee again..... I want to do something..... knowing me, I'll end up at the theater myself like normal because... well, no body likes me.
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