For the past 6-8 months things have been changing. I've spent a lot of volunteer time building an IT infrastructure for New Life and in a matter of a few weeks decissions were made that rendered everything I did useless. It was then that I realized the tug that I had been feeling that I needed to back away from volunteering as much as I had was a reality. It was confirmed by a couple people in conversations with key staff members and was told by another one that they don't understand why I still do so much and deal with the crap that had been placed on me. In the beginning of 2008 I began the withdrawl from maintaining the majority of New Life's IT systems. Here in May I'm don to only about 10% involved in their IT.
I've continued to attend New Life on Sunday mornings but its become more of a chore. Maybe some of it is a loss of passion in myself but I'm noticing that, at the same time, New Life seems to be losing their passion as well. Maybe its not a loss of passion in general but the focus of the passion has changed. There is no doubt that a lot of this may be the result of the dozen or more staff members that have left in the last year or two. In many ways I think these people decorated the core of what New Life is and the loss of those people have exposed that core. Now this is absolutely not to say that that core is wrong but that core is not the same as the core that God has developed in me. In some way I feel that I was misled. There is an important place in God's Kingdom for all churches but its important that each person be linked in to the core of what that church is. If the core of the church is many of the traditions of "church" but you cover that core up then you lose that connection with the congregation. What you present yourself as needs to be equal to your core.
So here I am in May realizing that I need to go in a new direction. The things that are know is that New Life has an amazing purpose and that I was there for the time that God needed me there. Where is God leading me? No clue. Ill just let Him guide me.
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