Wednesday, June 02, 2004

So many great things happened yesterday! First Jason and I had a conversation about me and Tanya. It's refreshing to know that he actually sees some positive in this too and he's not being critical. It really did occur to me during that conversation that I was not completely happy with being with Tiff. I loved her so incredibly much and I really wanted to be with her but there was a lack of commitment from her and that really bugged me.... but because I loved her, I stuck with her. I enjoyed alot of my time with her. And yes, sometimes I do miss that..... but during that conversation I realized that I am happy now.... I am 100% happy with everything. Tanya makes me happy.... Eli makes me happy.... my jobs make me happy..... I am content and happy. I couldnt ask for more.

Last night I took Tanya out to Dave and Buster's for her birthday. We had such a great time. Its been a while since I was able to relax and just have fun with someone very special in my life. She fits so well in my life.... and it seems I fit well in hers. We enjoy alot of the same stuff.... we just really connect.

Again I sit back and wonder... why did I go through all of this? Well, its really starting to occur to me. Hypothetically, lets say Tanya and I are the ones to be together forever (which is not far fetched). If that is the case, then I really needed to be prepared for this situation.... and that was done by all my previous situations. Had this been my first relationship, it never would have worked.... actually, I would have run from this scenario. Eli would have scared me away, but in fact, Eli is part of the reason I am happy now. I needed all my previous (horrible) situations in order to be prepared for what could be the greatest one ever.

And Tanya.... Happy Birthday! I love you and I hope you have a very special day! I miss you!

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